Are you trying to please everyone?

Are you trying to please everyone?
"If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone". Romans 12:18 (NIV)
Have you realized that there are some people you can't please? No matter what you do or what you try or how nice you are to them. You just can't please everybody.
But the Bible tells says you don't need to please everybody. "It is dangerous to be concerned with what others think of you." (Proverbs 29:25 LB) It's an emotional trap when you start worrying about what other people think. We buy things we don't need with money we don't have to impress people we don't even like -- all because we think we must be likedby everyone in order to be happy. That's foolish!
Jesus said, "I only seek to please Him who sent me." (John 5:30 LB) Even Jesus didn't try to please everybody. One person wants it to rain; another doesn't want it to rain. Even God can't please everybody. Only a fool would try to do what even God can't do.
In Luke 6:26 Jesus said, "Woe to you when all men speak well of you." (NIV) That's probably because the only time everybody's going to speak well of you is at your funeral!
I meet Christians all the time who must live with someone who makes life crazy. Every day they face someone who is an EGR (extra grace required). They say, "I try and try to make peace with this person, but I fail and I feel so guilty." The fact is, it may not be your fault. It may be the person you're trying to make peace with is just flat out difficult.
Give that person to God and focus on pleasing Him.

Reducing Stress

Reducing stress

If you don’t change the situations or thought patterns that are causing the uncomfortable, "red flag" emotions, you will continue to be triggered by them. Also, while you are not dealing with the emotions you are feeling, they can cause problems with your physical and emotional health.

Rumination, or the tendency to dwell on anger, resentment and other uncomfortable feelings, however, brings health consequences as well. So it’s important to listen to your emotions and then take steps to let them go.   :

Understand Your Emotions.
Look within and try to pinpoint the situations that are creating the stress and negative emotions in your life. Negative emotions can come from a triggering event: an overwhelming workload, for example. Negative emotions are also the result of our thoughts surrounding an event; the way we interpret what happened can alter how we experience the event and whether or not it causes stress. The key job of your emotions is to get you to see the problem, so you can make necessary changes.

Change What You Can.
 . Cut down on your stress triggers, and you’ll find yourself feeling negative emotions less frequently. This could include cutting down on job stress, learning the practices of assertive communication (so you don’t feel trampled by people) and changing negative thought patterns through a process known as cognitive restructuring.

Find An Outlet.
Making changes in your life can cut down on negative emotions, but it won’t eliminate your stress triggers entirely. As you make changes in your life to bring about less frustration, you will also need to find healthful outlets for dealing with these emotions. Regular exercise can provide an emotional lift as well as an outlet for negative emotions. Meditation can help you find some inner "space" to work with, so your emotions don’t feel so overwhelming. Finding opportunities for having fun and getting more laughter in your life can also change your perspective and relieve stress. Find a few of these outlets, and you’ll feel less overwhelmed when negative emotions do arise

 To born again Christians

Try to live a life filled with the Holy spirit. A spirit filled life is the best means to control ones negative emotions and reduce stress.May God bless You,dear!

CURE TO ANXIETY

A Cure to Anxiety

Bokuju, a Zen master lived alone in a cave.He would sometimes say loudly, “Bokuju” — his own name, and then he would answer, “Yes, I am here.”
His disciples used to ask him, “Why are you calling ‘Bokuju’, your own name, and then saying, ‘Yes sir, I am here’?”
He said, “Whenever I get into thinking, I have to remember to be alert, and so I call my own name, ‘Bokuju.’ The moment I call ‘Bokuju’ and I say, ‘Yes sir, I am here,’ the thinking disappears.”
 This can be a wonderful cure to anxiety. Just as Bokuju tried to wake himself by calling his name, you can try your own name. When you feel deep anxiety, just call your name and then reply, “Yes sir, I am here,” and feel the difference. The moment you call yourself, there is a jerk. The continuous flow of thinking is interrupted. Anxiety will not be there. At least for a single moment you will have a glimpse beyond the clouds. Once you know that if you become alert, anxiety disappears, you have come to a deep understanding of your own self and the mechanism of inner working.{ Quoted}

Controlling emotions

Controlling Emotions


When a mood against someone or for someone arises, do not place it on the person in questions, but remain centered.

If hate arises for someone or against someone, or love arises for someone, what do we do? We project it on the person. If you feel hate toward me, you forget yourself completely in your hate; only I become your object. If you feel love toward me, you forget yourself completely; only I become the object. You project your love or hate or whatsoever upon me. You forget completely the inner center of your being; the other becomes the center.

This sutra says when hate arises or love arises, or any mood for or against anyone, do not project it on the person in question. Remember, you are the source of it.

I love you — the ordinary feeling is that you are the source of my love. That is not really so. I am the source, you are just a screen on which I project my love.

You are just a screen; I project my love on you and I say that you are the source of my love. This is not fact, this is fiction. I draw my love energy and project it onto you. In that love energy projected onto you, you become loveable. You may ot be loveable to someone else, you may be absolutely repulsive to someone else.

Why?

If you are the source of love then everyone will feel loving toward you, but you are not the source.

I project love, then you become loveable; someone projects hate, then you become repulsive. And someone else doesn’t project anything, he is indifferent; he may not even have looked at you.

What is happening? We are projecting our own moods upon others. That is why, if you are on your honeymoon, the moon looks beautiful, miraculous, wonderful. it seems that the whole world is different. And on the same night, just for your neighbor, this miraculous night may not be in existence at all. His child has died — then the same moon is just sad, intolerable. But for you it is enchanting, fascinating; it creates passion. Why? Is the moon the source or is the moon just a screen and you are projecting yourself?

This sutra says, when a mood against someone or for someone arises, do not place it on the person in question — or on the object in question. Remain centered.

Remember that you are the source, so do not move to the other, move to the source. When you feel hate, do not go to the object. Go to the point from where the hate is coming. Go not to the person to whom it is going, but to the center from where it is coming.

Move to the center, go within. Use your hate or love or anger or anything as a journey toward your inner center, to the source. Move to the source and remain centered there. Try it! This is a very, very scientific, psychological technique.

Someone has insulted you — anger suddenly erupts, you are feverish. Anger is flowing toward the person who has insulted you. Now you will project this whole anger onto him. He has not done anything. If he has insulted you, what has he done? He has just pricked you, he has helped your anger to arise — but the anger is yours. If he goes to Buddha and insults him, he will not be able to create any anger in him. Or if he goes to Jesus, Jesus will give him the other cheek. Or if he goes to Bodhidharma, he will roar with laughter. So it depends.

The other is not the source, the source is always within you. The other is hitting the source, but if there is no anger within you it cannot come out. If you hit a buddha, only compassion will come out because only compassion is there. Anger will not come out because anger is not there.

If you throw a bucket into a dry well, nothing comes out. In a water-filled well, you throw a bucket and water comes out, but the water is from the well. The bucket only helps to bring it out. So one who is insulting you is just throwing a bucket in you, and then the bucket will come out filled with the anger, hate, or fire that was within you.

You are the source, remember.

For this technique, remember that you are the source of everything that you go on projecting onto others. And whenever there is a mood against or for, immediately move within and go to the source from where this hate is coming.

Remain centered there; do not move to the object. Someone has given you a chance to be aware of your own anger — thank him immediately and forget him. Close your eyes, move within, and now look at the source from where this love or anger is coming. From where?

Go within, move within. You will find the source there because the anger is coming from your source. Hate or love or anything is coming from your source.

And it is easy to go to the source at the moment you are angry or in love or in hate, because then you are hot. It is easy to move in then. The wire is hot and you can take it in, you can move inward with that hotness. And when you reach a cool point within, you will suddenly realize a different dimension, a different world opening before you. { quoted}

 

Samhaara Doothanസംഹാര ദൂതന്‍ സംഹാര ദൂതന്റെ കാലൊച്ച നാട്ടില്‍ സന്തതം കേള്‍ക്കുന്നു , ശ്രദ്ധിക്കുന്നുവോ നീ? രാഷ്ട്രീയ വൈരാഗ്യ ചെകുത്താന്‍ പിടിച്ചവര്‍ രാപ്പകല്‍ ചോര കുടിക്കാന്‍ നടക്കുന്നു ! കത്തികറാര വടിവാള്‍ ബോംബുകള്‍ കൊണ്ടുനടക്കും ക്വൊട്ടേഷന്‍ ഗുണ്ടകള്‍ ! മനുഷ്യര്‍തന്‍ രൂപം ധരിച്ചു നടക്കുന്ന മനുഷ്യത്വമില്ലാത്ത ദുഷ്ടകാപാലികര്‍! അവര്‍ക്കുവേണ്ട തെല്ലാം കൊടുക്കുന്നു , അറിയാത്ത ഭാവത്തില്‍ 'സംപൂജ്യ 'നേതാക്കള്‍ ! ഉയരുന്നമ്മപെങ്ങന്മാര്‍തന്‍ നിലവിളി ഉയരുന്നനാഥക്കുഞ്ഞുങ്ങള്‍തന്‍ മുറവിളി ! നെഞ്ചുപൊട്ടി വിളിക്ക നാം ദൈവത്തെ നീതിയാം ദൈവമേ ,പ്രവര്‍ത്തിക്ക,സത്വരം! -എസ്‌.എഴുമല June 2012 , H.L.M -centre Kaloor,Kochi -682 017